Well, you see, you have to understand where I come from in terms of who I can talk to about anime IRL. In my school, the VAST majority of self proposed fans are actually casual fans. They don’t watch a whole lot of anime, don’t care to talk about it, don’t know anything about the industry or people involved, and don’t have the kind of passion I do. That’s not a bad thing, but then you look at the few that aren’t those people.
Now, I run this year’s anime club. (Not doing so hot at the moment, BTW.) The people that do care enough to come, I’ve tried to have discussions with about anime, but all they really seem to say is “That was awesome” “He’s so cool” ‘I liked it a lot” and such. One particular person who shall remain nameless is just a long shonen tard, and without going on a rant, he just pushes my buttons a lot. I haven’t ever been able to have a meaningful conversation about anime where I don’t have to dumb myself down just to bear with it. No one, I’d say is “””on my level””” in layman’s terms. I know that sounds mean, but let me keep going. I can’t talk about themes, directing, acting, characters, composition, and really almost anything I want to about anime with any of these people. In short, I can’t discuss the things I want to about anime with anyone in my school without reducing my words to a fraction of what I think, say, and mean. Every single discussion where I stop restraining myself results in someone’s feelings hurt, or outcries of, “You’re too critical!!!” or “That’s just your opinion!” or “We’re just casual fans.” And I hate it.
I’ve only been able to thanks to the internet and anime YouTubers. That’s why I wanna join. I want the opportunity to talk to other YouTubers and users without holding back. To challenge my views and mind. I’m sick and tired of talking people who don’t even know how to construct an argument, both with anime, and any other topic that I’d like to discuss at least somewhat intellectually. Also, I’m not exactly a social person IRL. I just about don’t have anyone in my life I can wholly call a friend. This could help me actually make friends and look forward to really talking to people for once. I can’t let my mind’s craziness and constant slew of ideas in general just be bottled up in me, or let the lucky ones get written down somewhere, otherwise I might go insane. I’ve already been feeling it, especially in these past few months when I started announcing my channel goals and asking for advice. (Part of the reason I haven’t produced anything so far is because school takes a lot more time than I thought it would this year. So sorry for not fulfilling my promise so far. And I’ve had too many writing woes, as Sooin put it.)
Sure, you might say anime isn’t supposed to have a deeper meaning, But there’s just something in me, perhaps the side of me that’s been enamored by the domain known as TV Tropes, that just revels in the world of fiction. I like to keep an active mind, and to quote a lovely Professor, “Critical thinking is the key to success.” It’s the way I think, and if you don’t like it, just don’t listen to me. you can think for yourself what you will.
I’m sorry if this has just been a wall of text composed of adolescent angst or pretensions. (Once I start ranting, things generally go on tangents and turn out this way.) And I’m sorry if I didn’t answer your question the way you wanted me to. But I hope at least you have a bit of an idea of what goes on in my head and around me that’s made me think the way I do. I don’t know if you’d consider this too personal, but I benefit nothing from holding back on the truth and not being completely honest.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I’m open to talk more if you’d like. And again, I'm sorry.
